• Main  • Rants & Raves  • Video Games  • Downloads  • Contributors  • Links  • Boards  • About Me  • Contact Me 03/08/2000 Yes! My Dead or Alive 2 calander finally came! Wooo! It took it's time to get here, but at least I got it! That there picture is the cover of it... But that's all I'm gonna scan, for now. Now all I need is the game! Just one more week! Before you go any further, read this. It's one of the damn funniest things I've seen in a long time. So read it! Now, I assume you read it... If not, please do! Okay, first... "I learned that many members of my congregation became in touch with a dark force whenever they used their computers," ... "Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic websites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations." Okay, yeah, but that isn't the computer's fault. The computer is not the Internet. And what's so wrong with porn? Not that I go to porn sites or anything... I'll stick to my Hentai, thank you very much -=) "Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally." Never expressed an impure thought? NEVER?? I hadn't realized humanity has reached perfection. And since when has spewing foul language been evil? It may offend some people, but I don't see it as evil. Rude sometimes, yes. But not evil. "One woman wept as she confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.' " Well BOO-HOO!! Don't use the bloody computer! I'll tell ya, when I'm on the computer I feel as though I want to giggle like a little school girl - no, I feel as though I AM a little school girl! The minister said he probed one such case, actually logging onto the parishioner's computer himself. To his surprise, an artificial-intelligence program fired up -- without him clicking it on. "The program began talking directly to me, openly mocked me," he recalls. "It typed out, 'Preacher, you are a weakling and your God is a damn liar.' " An 'artificial-intelligence' .... program? It turned on itself... And it started talking to him. And he thinks that the COMPUTER is the problem? I'm thinking that this guy lost a few screws... That or... GASP! Maybe some computers really are possessed!! Noo! Then the device went haywire and started printing out what looked like gobbledygook. "I later had an expert in dead languages examine the text," the minister said. "It turned out to be a stream of obscenities written in a 2,800-year-old Mesopotamian dialect!" The computer went haywire? The AI possessed program that came out of nowhere? What? I'm guessing the computer did... And I would really like to see proof of that paper.. Oh, I bet that persons computer was infected with some sort of virus... "I learned most of the youths involved in school shootings like the tragedy at Columbine were computer buffs," ... "I have no doubt that computer demons exerted an influence on them." Uh, yeah... Playing a game as OLD as Doom makes you a computer buff? I have nothing against Doom... But playing it instead of Quake or something?? What is up with THAT?! I love this, 'computer demons' hoo boy. Rev. Peasboro advises that if you suspect your computer is possessed, you consult a clergyman or, if the computer is still under warranty, take it in for servicing. He says, "Technicians can replace the hard drive and reinstall the software, getting rid of the wicked spirit permanently." LAUGH!!! Oh man!! Ahahaa! Okay, yeah, I know, the demons are stored on my harddrive! Let's see here... I can just see it... Walk into Best Buy with your computer... 'Yeah, my computer is possessed by a computer-demon and causing my wife to cuss at people online and it's FORCING me to go to porn sites.... Can I have a new one?' ... I really want to work in a tech department now! By the way, I got the link from my mom... Arrg, my brother is gonna get his computer soon. And it's gonna be a hottie! Let's see... 700mhz K7, 128MB RAM (he'll upgrade it to 256...), uhm..He'll have DSL, Creative Labs Annihilator Pro (DDR, that is), a 19" monitor and every bloody thing else you could think of! I'm sitting here with my Celery 400mhz, 192MB RAM, Viper V770 (non-ultra), and a 56K modem... But hey, it's lasted me for a year now... I know I'll get by for another 6 months at least. And well... Here's to me! -Jonathan 'Giggling school girl' Ward